I received a birthday present the other day of a mother and daughter called Metamorphosis. The idea behind the gift was very thoughtful. It’s not your typical mother and baby tchotchke. The statue depicts a mother standing behind her daughter. Mom is
hanging on the daughter’s back like a leech in a effort to keep her from leaving embracing her daughter from behind. With my daughter getting married in a few weeks it was a very nice gift and an attempt to help us capture this special time in our lives. Although I appreciate the thoughtfulness, I will be honest and admit I don’t really like the statue itself. I don’t like cookie cutter collectibles and prefer things that are one-of-a-kind, preferably handmade. However, it did made me think about the fact that I am currently living in a state of metamorphosis.
My family is changing. My oldest daughter has been busy planning her wedding, happily dreaming about her future. My husband has been busy working so we can pay for the ridiculously expensive day. I contribute when my opinion is consulted occasionally or when I feel the need to
take over step in and offer guidance. It makes me happy to watch her plan her future seeing how very happy she is. My younger daughter is getting ready to set out on her own. She’s finishing her third year of over-priced college and I know, after her internship in an exciting city this summer and our last year of tuition, she will fly off and start her new career. A fiercely independent young woman, I am both proud and a bit frightened by her focus and drive for success. Of course, all this change comes with worry, fear, concern, and some angst thrown in for good measure.There has been joy, laughter and eager anticipation along with some tears (mostly mine!). I suppose it comes with the job of being a mother to reassure, listen and encourage all while putting my own feelings on hold. The world is so different now that my advice seems antiquated and often not in sync with today’s twenty-something’s perspective.
In between the laughter and tears I have been spending a lot of time thinking. My daughters are moving on to the next phase of their lives. I’m excited for them but left wondering about the next phase of my life. I have so many interests and desires. Many of which have been put on the back burner due to bad timing and/or lack of funds. It almost feels like I am the twenty year-old with my whole life in front of me again. Now that we have managed to get our children through school, sober, in one piece and without a grandchild in tow, I’m left wondering what’s next? I have about seven years left at a minimum before I can retire from teaching. Seems like a long time but I know it will go quick. I love to travel and I also dream about running a bed and breakfast. I want to move to a condo but I want to live in a lake house. My interest ADD is in full swing when faced with the prospect of free time, financial freedom and the opportunity to move on to a new career path. I believe I could run a fabulous b&b but an innkeeper’s lifestyle may not be conducive to time off for travel. I love the idea of a maintainence free condo that would allow us to travel without worrying about yard work, snow removal, etc. However, then I remember that people annoy me. Sigh…
So as my daughters look forward to their exciting futures, my husband and I contemplate ours. Well…I’m doing most of the
worrying contemplation. He’s too busy working. Weddings are crazy expensive and don’t get me started on college tuition and the cost of textbooks. We are almost across the finish line with this whole parenting thing. Will I end up a beautiful butterfly, emerging to find a new me and a new direction? Or, will I emerge a frog from a tadpole, hopping from one new adventure to another? Stay tuned…